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Wednesday, September 18th, 2002
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Yes ;; my sister has her new bf to cheer her up, and me. Well, the docters. lmao. This is going to be my last day..on the net for a month. I will be gettign help. No, not that kinda help : } I was thinking, yah know. To act insane and it would make me stay there longer. lmao.
Yes, I am trying my best..to make this and see it with a good attitude. I am blessed, for there are many girls with eating disorders out there that..want help, but it is too late.
Many told me I was a step less for getting grave, yet..I am glad. I wanna live for my family, my net friends, my friends in RL. I just wanna find..out how..and why I starved and made myself throwup. Why? I do it, but the answer is hidden.
But anyways, I will miss you all. I wanna give shouts to the people who helped me. God, where would I be without you?
Girls: Ally, Chelsey, Jimmy, May, Lucy, Katie, Lianna, Robbin, Jay, Intro, Jackie, Bingie, spoonstabber, Erin Cassia, Twink, Jessica, Socks, Rhonnie, Kristen, Kat, Kyla, Madi, Abbie, Emily, Courtney, Shadow, Kai, Chalk, Duckie, Adrianna
Guys: Kevin, Shawn.
It shows you I am a ladies man ;D lmao.
I will..miss you all to bits. I hope, I can get through this without you all.
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Sunday, September 15th, 2002
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I am soooo pathetic ;D I toke another common sense test. And, I got the lowest grade on it. I guess, I am one of thoose people..who would just like to die right when and there. Hey, maybe if I die. In my science class, they atleast would have a body to disect. I mean, they were complaining about how they have nothing to disect. And :D! the hightest test grade..I have ever gotten, is for a pregancy test. lmao, I am kidding.
I went to my docter xx; and..I told her I was thinking of stabbing myself. And, then after my parents heard that. They now have hidden all the knifes in the house. lmao. Paranoid.
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Friday, September 13th, 2002
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Nothing much happended today. I don't know if I will be sitting here typing tomrrow, or this week. Or, if I will be sleeping in my own bed o_O AND NO, I don't mean I will soon be sleeping in my bf bed. It's just..I don't know..anymore. Where my life is heading this next week. I could be getting help, dead..who knows.
But today :D I went to the store with my dad. And, I went on thoose 'electorincial animals outside of the store, that you ride..and put 25 cents in. I ride that infrount of unch of people and they said 'aren't you alittle old for that?' it was funny.
But..people. I wanna chnage the world. I wanna say.. instead of the english traits on the english teachers walls. It should be the sex traits you require..like Grace, Beauty, Sexy :x lmao. If you don't have thoose, go with the normal english traits. It won't get you nowhere. But of course, with that ugly face of yours and meaniness you were meant to go no where. And o.o the teachers are teaching us the wroung things.
For, I think..what if a bad person with a gun came up to you and said "Give me a good lap dance, or you die". See not knowing a lap dance, could depend on you dieing? lmao.
post o_o
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Thursday, September 12th, 2002
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What about the lifeguards? well, let's just say..one guy got the pool cleaner stuck on his dick. lmao x} the old bastard deserved it..I found out he was about to be married :P and BOY. Isn't he behind schudule. Most men are married around 19 or 20 and he was 21. And, from what I hear. He is very patient. So, he did it already..I think. I should make a poll on this..o_o; like DID HE DO IT or DID HE NOT. lmao.
The other dude o_o; told me he was from Hawwai. And stupid me. I was like, OH sooo you don't live in the united states then e_e; HELLO. I AM A.. B+ STUDENT IN HISTORY HERE. lmao. And then, I said..so you like to swim alot..you remind me of the dolphin Flipper. ANOTHER STUPID THING TO SAY.
But..o_o I hate that dude. He is a friggin player. I want, a guy..who will respect me. Not use me. So, me and my sister pushed him into the pool. He almost lost his job.
Haha x} that's what you get. When, you messaround.
Possssssssssssssssssssssssssst @_@
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Sunday, September 8th, 2002
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I am going to wear this very shot skirt..e_o; more often. Yes, even when it is short enough..I roll it. The girls..ask..why? xD. It's hott in the building. lmao. YES...IM A HOOCIE MOMMA. I DRESS MORE HOOCHER THAN..ANY OF YOUR MOMMA'S x}
Anyways, today. it was puring raining..and I finally xD. got to talk to this majior cute guy that is like 2 years older than me. Aftwerwards. I went outside. And then, I slipped right on my ass. It looked like..I peed but it came out the other way. Then, I went another step. And I fell on my ass agian, and ALSO..o_o; infrount of the cute guy. Who, I always gawk at..but never know his name. It was funny e_e;
I saw..tepphiane today. And it's sad :D! out of the 4 years I have known her. All, the words I have said to ehr in my vocabulary is 'hi' and 'bye'.
WENT TO THE Y.M.C.A today oO; I saw two majorly hott lifeguards. As you can tell, I use hott alot. lmao. Me and my sis, and Joe..who got jealous. I was at first, too scared...to even say Hi at first. So, I said my friend here who is a guy e_e; says your cute. SAD ME.
Later..he was off his duty. And we chatted, and I never told him about..how I was a freshman ee; and really, this guy was a gradurated senior. But is a frshman in collgue. WERE BOTH FRESHMAN :D! we were made..for eachother. FRESHMAN, FRESHMAN..haha. Later, when he left, I told him he had a nice ass. And..then later..o_o; I flirted with the other lifeguard. Cause, I just coundn't flirt wiht them both at the same time. ONLY ONE OF ME TO GOO AROUND :D and that's a good thing.
POSTTIE ee;
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razorcutt's journal
crushed.
amused.
awake.